He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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