This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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