i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
A bitchslap is in order.
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