so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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