dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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