i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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