Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My liver just had a heart attack.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
