now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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