The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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