You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
