I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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