Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
