Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
