god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
