They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
