great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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