dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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