do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Success! We fucked roommates!
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