I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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