just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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