I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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