I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
