There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I smell like Dick and happiness
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
