and she was petting her beer can
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
