I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My butt remains clenched, sir.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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