He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
