turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
