Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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