i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
