im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
