O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
