For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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