I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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