I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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