I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
