You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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