How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
