Best friends brother. Beat that.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Can I color on your dick again?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
