lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
