Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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