why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
