I feel great
I just peed on a car
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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