do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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