he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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