Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
sarcasm needs its own font
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize