Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
