no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
