you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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