what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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