I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
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