Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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