shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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