paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The best revenge is premature balding
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
