I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize