What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
