Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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