i don't like sucking hair
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
