I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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