White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
