I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
