I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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