just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
