Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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