I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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