You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
